Exploding Moment

Wednesday February 16^th, 2005

As we pulled up in front of the apartment that feeling of unease that had been building all day was at its highest. The one thought crossing my mind was to try to make it upstairs before my younger siblings did. I feared the thought of her lying face down somewhere in the apartment or finding her even in a peaceful manner almost as if she had been sleeping. My heart was pounding harder with each step I took and then I finally reached the door. I fit the key in the lock and when I heard the click of it unlocking I took a deep breath and started to open the door slowly. For a brief moment as I glanced through the cut out on the stairs I could see her bedroom door shut and thought maybe just maybe everyone was right. People had been trying to talk me down off my feeling of unease all day. I opened the door just a bit more and that is when I notice the ace bandage. At first I remember thinking it was strange to see an ace bandage stretched out down the middle of a room. As I followed it down from the ceiling I finally understood why I had been feeling that lurking feeling all day. There I found her sitting on the floor in her purple fleece pajamas with the little polar bears on it, with her hands at her side the color gone from her face. I slammed the door shut and screamed out “what did you do?” and the last thing I remember was pushing my sister, who thankfully had not seen anything, back towards my cousin who was now at the top of the stairs. It was almost as if my body and mind knew they were safe now and then my knees gave out from under me. I remember sitting in the recycling bin and seeing and hearing everything but in a slow a distorted way. People speaking to me resembled Charlie Brown’s teacher from The Peanuts and time seemed as though it stood still. This was the day, Wednesday February 16^th 2005, the day that I lost my best friend and the day that time stood still.